The In Between
Recently, I was able to go to what will be my new job in a less than a month. It was surreal. At the new job, I'm known by my married name. My badge says it. My email says it and the business cards the job ordered say it. I am drafting an email to send out to my new community and I'm introducing myself with my new last name.
The day after that visit, I went back to my current job that ends so soon. That quickly, I went right back to my maiden name. It was like I had to readjust back to the person I have been for so long, but the person that will take on a new role in a few days. I could feel the tug between the two of us - the Miss and the Mrs.
While I'm so excited to be a wife, I can't say that I'm ready. How does one prepare for such a thing? How do you get ready to be married? I feel like it's similar to me starting my new job. I was chosen out of a pool of applicants. My education and my experience allowed me to be the top candidate for the job. In the same way, my almost husband thought that I was the one for him. He had been with other women before me, but I was the one he ultimately chose.
Of course that makes me feel good on both fronts, but, the truth, is that I've never filled the specific roles I'm being called to fill before - this makes me nervous. I've mentioned before that I want everything to be perfect, including my own performance and behavior (I'm still working on this mindset).
Here I am, the week of my wedding, staring down the barrel of a new step in my life, about to move forward from another season in my life. I am quieting the noise of fear that tries to tell me that I will fail. I know Miss Jordan. I know how to be Miss Jordan. I've been her for so long and I've got her down to a science (for the most part). However, there was a time when I didn't know who she was at all. It took work for me to learn her, to know her, and to treat her well.
While I will not be in this in between stage for much longer, I am gaining confidence with each day. I believe that just as I got to know the Miss, I will get to know the Mrs. I will learn and grow and evolve. I will find parts of myself that I did not know were there. I will grow into another facet of myself as a woman. I will also do the same for my new line of work.
It's funny how this is true - as much as things change, they stay the same. I've been in an unfamiliar place before, uncharted waters of which I do not know the depth. It's a sink or swim kind of thing. I'm not in the business of sinking, so I'll swim , then. And, I'll keep swimming until I get to where I'm going.
Maybe you're in between two things, too. You're about to shut the door on one thing to walk through another door. You're about to progress into a new stage of life that means you'll have to lean on all the things you know from your former life. Wherever you find yourself, carry the strength you've gained from all the times you've been in a similar situation, and keep swimming until you gain your momentum. Know that the middle is not a bad place to be. In fact, it means you've been somewhere and that you've got somewhere else to go.
We'll all get to where we are supposed to be soon enough.
Until next time, friends...
Take good care of yourselves,